Musings of My Beloved 4

Some old lady in Miami keeps calling me...ALL THE TIME. She's got the wrong number. But I think the lady only speaks spanish so everytime she calls and I pick up, I say to her, "Sorry, wrong number." She says, "Ay ok, thAnk q."

Anyways, it's gotten so annoying that now I don't even pick up and I let the phong ring...HELLO LADY I'M OBVIOUSLY NOT THE PERSON YOU'RE TRYING TO REACH!

Who knows, maybe she got played by some Rico Suave she met on a cruise and he gave her my number instead. Or she's trying to reach her grandchildren who probably also gave her the wrong number cuz she so obviously can't take a hint. Augh...old spanish lady in Miami, stop calling me.

So you're probably wondering...why is this titled Musings of My Beloved, right? (Just humor me and pretend you were wondering it.)

Well poops (you all should know who this is but just in case you don't, it's Beloved's real name and from now on I'm referring to him as poops on here cuz it just makes the writing more natural) and I were driving to our city's main desi area to get some food or something (yeah right, it's always food) and I was going through my call log and told poops about the old spanish lady in Miami who keeps calling me and he gave me a mediocre idea, he said I should just record my voicemail greeting thing in spanish telling the lady that it's not cool to call me and that I'm going to report her to the police. I, of course, didn't laugh out loud at poops' idea and thought he could do better. And I also told him my spanish sucked and that I couldn't probably muster up a greeting to say all that, nor come up with what's spanish for wrong number except for "numero incorrecto." So then poops, in all his brilliance, told me what I should record on my voicemail. Beware, the following is a presentation brought to you by poops and his "all languages that aren't english and urdu sound the same to me" prejudice:

Me: (unprepared for the horror that was about to come)

Poops: Fi espanol same aurato!

Me: (horrified and peeing my pants with laughter (yes, poops, it happened...just a little bit though))

In case you don't get what was pee-worthy, poops managed to incorporate 4 different languages into a 4 word sentence. And none of it makes sense.

Fi = Arabic for in

Espanol = Spanish for Spanish

Same = English for same

Aurat = Urdu for woman and poops added an O to aurat to make it more Spanish I guess

Ah well...

Musings of My Beloved 3

This is a short google chat I had with Beloved (aka poops) yesterday while he was at work and I was at home:

Fahd: wht r u gonna shake and bake today
Sheala: what do u want
Fahd: anything
okie let me tell you
Sheala: lol
Fahd: I want roh afza the frozen one
+ Pakoras (Both types)
+ Fruit Chat (that we already have)
+ TACOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
:)
do you think u can do it
Sheala: sure

(20 min later I started watching Duplicity with Julia Roberts and Clive Owen.)

Sheala: this movie is more efor u
i have no idea whats going o
n
Fahd: lol
what is the movie abt
Sheala: spies i THINK
Fahd: hmm
Sheala: i mean but done in comedy style
Fahd: acha
Sheala: like how oceans eleven is comedy style
but serious subject
Fahd: like miss congineality
how ever it is spelled
Sheala: no poops
miss congeniality
was a comedy
Fahd: okie

And the night before, I caught the last few minutes of Princess Diaries 2 on tv (come on, you don't have to admit it but every girl loves the Princess Diaries movies...right?...right???) And this is how the chat went:

(Poops and I are sitting on the couch watching the last few minutes)

Poops: She's so pretty when she doesn't smile
Me: What do you mean? She's pretty all the time. She's the princess.
Poops: No, when she smiles she looks like Mickey Mouse.
Me: Mickey Mouse? WTF?
Poops: Yeah, like Mickey Mouse. Look her smile is weird and her ears are huge.
Me: um...
Poops: I don't mean Mickey Mouse I mean Mickey Mice.
Me. ummmmm......what?
Poops: She looks like Mickey Mice.
Me: What are Mickey Mice?
Poops: The girl Mickey Mouse...you know...his girlfriend.
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA......You mean...Minnie Mouse?
Poops: Oh, I thought it was Mickey Mice.
Me: oh poops

Musings of My Beloved 2

You can see a whole bunch of these little fellas running around here in Illinois:

This isn't a picture I took, but it closely resembles the kind I've seen here. It's called the Eastern Grey Squirrel.

It's quite common to cross paths with one of these little fellas and Beloved has on more than one occasion joyfully pointed at the little fellas and said to me, "Look, a chimpunk!"

It's not a typo, he said chiMpunk.

Anyways, if that didn't make you giggle this sure will:

I wonder what Smokey the Bear would say about this.

Musings of My Beloved

My beloved has incredible musings, musings so awe-inspiring I forget to breathe. And though musings isn't the correct word for this particular example of his incredible, awe-inspiring statement, I will still use it. Because in honor of my beloved whom is most beloved to me I present a new series: "Musings of my beloved."


So the first musing to incredibly awe-inspire you is:


Last week we began to watch the "Earth" series that my beloved gifted me as part of my many birthday presents (that's right, PART of my MANY presents (that's right, be jealous (oh, you say you don't care for material goods and one present is good enough for you? (you're just saying that cause your beloved aint buyin u no mo' than one presENT (oh yes, I DID go there) ) ) ) ). And just on a sidenote: you totally have to watch the Earth series, it's AWESOME!

Ok, so one of the segments was about animals that migrate towards water blah blah and an animal was filmed which my beloved so excitedly and without hesitation pointed out as:


Pocahontas!

He even lifted his arm and pointed at the animal in the movie. What was this animal my beloved pointed out as Pocahontas?

El Hippopotamus