Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Vicious Circle of Love


I grew up as an odd kid and became an odd teenager. Odd in the sense that I wasn’t a popular girl nor was I one of those that are content with their individuality and lack of popularity. Nay, I was a girl who had a best friend and a couple of periphery friends and we all got good grades. Nothing about me stood out.
Throughout those years, I, like most, wanted to be popular. But I never succeeded. I never dated, never drank, never did anything “harmful.” I was odd because even though I had every opportunity to do said harmful things, I didn’t act upon them. Whenever my family and I went to any dinner parties, I would always stay close to my mom and never approach the other girls in my age group huddled together sharing stories of romantic forays and gossip about the girls not in attendance. Often one of the mothers of those girls would attempt to get me to join the other girls and I, being a nice girl, would oblige. I would make an appearance, sit a few minutes in an attempt to bond, then excuse myself to get a drink and make my way back to my mom. I guess, how odd of me.
One thing, however, which wasn’t odd of me was to dabble in love. Ah! Love! Love for a young soul is fuel to live the day. Love is what makes you start using mascara (clear mascara, of course) and lip gloss. Love is the reason you don’t miss school and rush home to get on the internet.
In the many loves one has in their youth (and each love you think is “the one”) you begin to consider less and less the opinions and advice of those older than you. Why, no adult would ever understand this love of mine. No adult would ever be able to understand how good of a guy he really is. How dare they try to advise me!
What’s peculiar to me about this is that even though I deemed myself a good girl and a smart girl, I felt I knew better about love than those who would try to advice me. The adults would include daughters of family friends who I grew up with and trusted with secrets and an occasional older sister. I knew better, of course. No one was going to stop me from loving who I wanted to love. However, now I think back to that time and consider myself rather stupid and thickheaded for not accepting and implementing advice of those older than myself. But such is the mind of a young soul.
So now I’ve come across a threshold. Now I have younger sisters of my own who stand now at the very spot I stood on years ago. And I am now the adult character who advises the love-struck youth. Will she listen? Will she understand? Nope. Why? Because she knows the secrets to the universe. She knows that she loves truly and purely and that it is reciprocated. Who am I to think I even know an ounce of her love.
And so cometh the new generation of lovers and goeth the wisdom of lovers past.

1 comment:

carlos said...

I was the same was when i was young. I'd go to parties and stick to my dad/mom and my brother and sister. I still am, for the most part. With love, people can give advice, but in the end you have to experience it. Hell, I should have taken advice from EVERYONE around me regarding my last relationship, but i didn't....and i learned an invaluable lesson because of it that i would have never learned otherwise