Friday, July 31, 2009


The other morning at work, my "undercover racist" co worker was listening to a song on Youtube, and from my desk I could hear it. I started listening to the song, and I said to myself "what is Joe listening to??, that's not rock music!" (Now from spending time with you (Sheala) in Morocco and at your house, I've come to recognize pakistani music). Apparently Joe, my co worker, was listening to a song called "Kash Yeh Pal" by the Pakistani group Jal, naturally I was shocked, so I got up to see what he was doing. He tells me, "Even though it is Indian, I really like this song! It's cool", now it has always bothered me when people call Pakistanis, Indians, I mean it's two different countries, get it correct! But anyways... so then I tell him "No Joe, they're Pakistani, see it says it next to the video", Joe-with a very confused look on his face, says "It's what?? Yea Indian, like the corner store people, is that what you mean?" My temper started to rise, but I wanted to keep calm, I was at work, plus it's not worth it to get all worked up because of someone's ignorance! So I wa nice enough to show him a map on google, so he could understand what I was talking about... Then he gets all offended, because he thinks I'm being arrogant and trying to show off! So I just let it go.

To make a long story short, I really liked the song he was listening to! So here it is:

Side note: I call my coworker "undercover racist" because he tends to use racial slurs alot, but then gets all defensive when you tell him that he shouldn't talk about people like that, and says "O, but I'm not racist, I'm just saying.... BLAH BLAH BLAH!"

Posted By Zarga

Hey India

Hey India, I wanted to see what your Hudatv dude looked like (I still haven't listened to the videos yet) and omg he looks like a lion. Lol he's very Jesus-from-the-old-paintings looking type of person.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Never Been Kissed

I love Drew Barrymore's movie "Never Been Kissed." And one of the reasons I love that movie so much is because it has one particular person who summed up my perfect man: Michael Vartan.

When I first saw the movie, I fell head over heels in love with Michael Vartan. He was just perfect. And even now when I watch the movie (yeah, it plays a lot on HBO) I get butterflies in my stomach when I see him, and what's more is that I recall how much I used to like him when the movie came out 10 years ago. Does anyone else have any old high school-esque crushes like that?

P.S. I kinda saw a real life version of my high school crush in college. One of my professors towards the last year at university was a full on German version of Michael Vartan. KEE-YUTE!

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Married Couples Be Aware!!

I came across this video on youtube, it's from a series about how shaytan speaks to you. Someone times we say the meanest things when we argue with our spouse, and things that we really regret in the end:(

Posted By INDIA

Monday, July 27, 2009

A letter I wish I could write

Dear Downstairs Neighbors,

I hate you.


Upstairs Neighbor

Dear Downstairs Neighbors,

I feel I didn't elaborate thoroughly on my feelings for you. So, here I go: I think your lame ass attempt at being cool by placing a huge wall sized projection screen on the wall beneath my sofa is lame ass. You all, God knows how many of you are living down there, may be in your 20s but that is no excuse to forget that other people live around you (more specifically, ON TOP OF YOU .) Stop trying to act all frat-boyish by playing Rock Band all the's super lame. Stop BLASTING YOUR SURROUND SOUND AT 2AM!!!! I've complained many times, you all still don't care. I've called the main office three times, and supposedly they notified you to cut down on the freakin noise (I highly doubt they ever called you) and my Beloved's even tried to tell you in person to cut down on the noise (you listened once and once you didn't even open your door.) So my dear darling neighbors downstairs, I will take my revenge upon thee next week! Yes, I'm in the midst of finalizing a deal, and you will be the one who will suffer. You may ask, "How?" Well dearies, I will tell you now: God willing next week my 11 and 13 year old cousins will arrive. They're boys. They act 7 and 9. They hate each other. They fight all the time. They chase each other a lot in those fights. A lot of chasing. You will hate yourself. And I'll be all too honored to encourage them to run around.

With all my hate,

Your Upstairs Neighbor

::::UPDATE:::: Turns out my cousins aren't coming. (sigh) Looks like I'll have to take my revenge on my neighbors some other time.

Have a Laugh 5

Thursday, July 23, 2009

testing this thing out

Natasha in Pink for a Night
Natasha in Pink for a Night by Baji featuring Christian Louboutin shoes

Have a Laugh 4

I happened to stumble across this series of videos exposing a supposed "ex-muslim" who converted to christianity. It's really a funny set of videos. Take the time out to watch them. I'll post the first one:

Wednesday, July 22, 2009



ok so the backstory is that I have xm radio in my car and so most of the time I just listen to the comedy stations on there, now since the year that I've had xm, I've heard this bit called "cacheevo" like 3 or 4 times already and it's extremely addictive, so I thought I would share cacheevo with the world.
And so, world, I present to you the glory that is ...Cacheevo.

p.s. I was unable to find a youtube video for this so you will have to settle for this link.


Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - 2.4 Chapatis
This movie was actually pretty scary compared to the previous ones (as scary as Harry Potter movies can get. ) But it was the first movie I felt wasn't a complete story. I guess since we're coming to the end of the series this movie was more of a set-up for the next two.
Anyways, kudos to the film-makers, there was great attention to detail (in terms of cinematography) which is what I love in a movie. And yeah, we lose a great character at the end.
My suggestion: If the last time you saw a Harry Potter movie was over a year ago or if you've skipped a couple of movies from the series, then do yourself a favor and rent all of them and have at it in a week. THEN go watch this movie. And please don't think you have to have read the books to watch the movie, I never read a single one of them (big surprise, eh?) The scripts of the movies have been changed to allow non-readers to also enjoy the movies (and J.K. Rowling actually approves every script.)
And yes this next thing is a very nerdy thing to do on my behalf, but here is a link to answer every question you may have when you're catching up on your Harry Potter series: click here
And note to Bollywood: PLEASE DON'T EVER DO THIS AGAIN:

The movie starts around 1:35 and the ridiculousity starts at 1:55. If you have lost your mind for some reason, you have my permission to watch the entire film on youtube by clicking on the subsequent parts.

Songs that get stuck in your head: Like a Prayer

Monday, July 20, 2009

Musings of My Beloved 2

You can see a whole bunch of these little fellas running around here in Illinois:

This isn't a picture I took, but it closely resembles the kind I've seen here. It's called the Eastern Grey Squirrel.

It's quite common to cross paths with one of these little fellas and Beloved has on more than one occasion joyfully pointed at the little fellas and said to me, "Look, a chimpunk!"

It's not a typo, he said chiMpunk.

Anyways, if that didn't make you giggle this sure will:

I wonder what Smokey the Bear would say about this.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Long List o' Movies

So to begin this long list of movie reviews, you may have to familiarize yourself with the Chapati Ratings System.

I was pretty excited to see this movie when I first heard about it. But it was a pretty lame movie.
(Warning spoiler ahead)
I do like that it used the Islamic concept that the Earth will be destroyed by the sun (more or less) but I just can’t get how they ended the story by a couple of kids across the globe being saved to repopulate another “Earth.” Lame-o.
My suggestion: Watch only if you’re flying and you’ve seen all the other available movies on your personal tv.

I wish this movie had more of the Sex and the City and Devil Wears Prada fashion sense. But this movie was about A shopoholic, so you get exactly what the title says. And there’s really no confessions…she just has a shopping problem. I wish it was more about the clothes and accessories, this movie had the potential to launch Isla Fisher into the league of Audrey Hepburn and Sarah Jessica Parker as icons and whose dresses we all think about with just one mention. Heck, I even remember Anne Hathaway’s thigh high boots in Devil Wears Prada when she first surprises her boyfriend with her new look. What a waste of a movie. But, Isla Fisher does look cute and one thing I DO like is that they use some of her outfit more than once.
My suggestion: Rent it if you’re a girl and can handle predictable movies.

Pink Panther 2 – 2 chapatis
Ok , I have to admit, I didn’t see the first Pink Panther . So I guess I cant say if this one was better or worse than the first one. However, I did enjoy it and actually laughed out loud a few times. I did kind of guess who was the real jewel theif in the first quarter of the movie, but I’m pretty sure this movie was just aimed at laughs and not really boggling the viewer’s mind as to who could be the theif.
My suggestion: Rent it if your weekend is free and without giving away too much, be ready to laugh at around the 28minute mark when Andy Garcia is telling Steve Martin “all day the babies.” HILLARIOUS. Followed up with the sushi remark by steve martin…simplicity in comedy at its best.

I just have a problem where I have to watch all of Tyler Perry’s movies so yeah, watching this movie was a result ofmy problem. Pretty predictable. But if you have the same problem as me, well I guess then watch it.
My suggestion: If this is all that’s playing on the plane, take a nap.

Gran Torino – 2.8 chapatis
Awesome movie. Watch it. Now. Go rent it. I will pay you the dollar to rent it. I love Clint Eastwood. And as a sidenote, if you think Clint’s character is a little like mine (in terms of grumpiness and the remarks) then I consider it an honor. An honor that I have only bettered and enhanced your life with my character. HUAH

He’s just not that into you – 1chapati
I guess sooo many actors and sooo many storylines make a viewer go nuts. That’s what happened when I saw this movie…I became a nut. Movie was blah. Yawn. Blah blah. Yaaawwn.
My suggestion: can you handle cheese? Do you like cheese on your burgers and do you let the waiter at cheesecake factory grate parmesan on your pasta? Then go for it, watch the movie.

Revolutionary Road- 2.8 chapatis
I would say that only those who are married should watch this movie. Better yet, only those who have been married less than 3 years. Better yet, ladies, watch it without your husband first, then you can judge if he should watch it. Amazing movie. Yes, there’s a “dirty cheating on your partner” part here or there. But nevermind that. You will see yourself in Kate Winslet’s character, not going to say anymore for fear of spoiling it.
My suggestion: Watch it if you meet the above requirements.

New in Town: 1 chapati
Watch it if you’re with people of varying ages. Otherwise watch it on a plane. That’s my only suggestion.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop – 2 chapatis
I love Kevin James so im biased with this movie. My favorite is when he’s hanging from the ceiling pretending to be one of the mannequins…hillarity hath ensueth.
My suggestion: Yeah, rent it and watch it with everyone.

Taken – 1.9 chapatis
All in all a pretty good movie and really liked that it was a different story and was showing a problem in the world that not many people know exists. The only reason this is a 1.9 and not a 2.2 is because Liam Neeson speaks English the whole freakin time! He’s freakin in France and pretending to be a cop (oh yeah, sorry, spoiler alert) and speaks English to everyone and no one scratches their head and gives it a second thought. I guess they were trying to save money on either giving Liam Neeson French lessons or saving money on posting subtitles. Either or, it was pretty weird!
My suggestion: Watch this movie when possible, the movie showcases a worldwide problem that many people, including myself, aren’t educated about.

Bride Wars: 1.5 chapatis
Girl movie. And as a girl, there’s certain movies we have to watch regardless of how un-great they are.
My suggestion: If you’re having a slumber party, rent Bride Wars, He’s just not that into you, and Confessions of a Shopoholic. You will dread your next menses.

The Day the Earth Stood Still - 1 chapati
Now I’m all for destroying-the-Earth movies, but I guess there’s only so much of a story that the writers can come up with. Don’t get me wrong, the graphics in this movie and Knowing were cool and if my rating included the graphics the ratings on these movies would be higher. Good message in the movie though, although I still think it should be mandatory for everyone to have to take the AP Environmental Science class I took in high school, it’s scared the bejeezus out of me since 11th grade. It’s the reason I’ll make sure a napkin is used all the way through before I throw it away.
My suggestion: this is the boy response to all the girl movies I listed.

Movie was nice and got me thinking what my life would be like if I started saying “yes” more. Eh, I guess none of us will ever know.
My suggestion: watch it on a plane, if your plane doesn’t have it, request it. If the crew wont comply, watch another movie. :-D

Bedtime Stories – 1.9 chapatis
I’m a pretty huge Adam Sandler fan and so it pains me to give any of his movies anything lower than three whole chapatis. But this movie lacked the imagination I was assuming would prevail from this movie. But still a pretty good movie to watch with those who are young.
My suggestion: Definitely watch if there’s someone under fifteen in your household. Or wait, under 13 I guess, cuz even 14 and 15 year olds are so “Emo” and supercool now. Jeez, how quick the generations change.

Marley & Me - .5 chapati
Ok I gave this movie a chance, especially since it was filmed in the sunshine state (holla) but I gave up on this movie. I saw like the first hour and had to shut it off. What was the point of this movie again…?
Anyways, my suggestion: BURN THIS MOVIE WHEREVER YOU FIND IT. Kick it. Punch it. Douse it in gasoline and light it up, baby.

I like this movie, it’s a unique story. I laughed silently quite a few times. Yeah, watch it if you’ve had a rouch day. Trust me, the first 5minutes I was like wtf?! Then few minutes later you realize the story.
My Suggestion: Definitely watchable with family, and I actually think it’s required watching by the family bureau. So yeah, watch it.

Quantum of Solace – no rating
This is the first 007 movie I’ve seen and really I cant much remember the story. I think I did like it while watching it but wanted to rip apart my toes after it ended from wtf’ing too much. Ok ill give it a rating: 1.5 chapatis.

I love Jason Statham so I guess that’s why I even saw this movie. It’s not as good as the previous ones, but it still does the job. And what’s up with all these Eastern European/Russian girls in his movies? Anyways, yeah watch it if you like Statham vroom vrooming your engine.

Ah, saved the best for last. Now I know it didn’t get great reviews, very few people liked the movie when it came out. So I didn’t start this movie with the best of hopes. But this movie is our Gone With the Wind. Fellow Generation Y’ers, watch this movie and appreciate what the cinema is. This is a film, not a movie. I can’t believe people didn’t like this movie! This was a great experience and as soon as I get an extra 15 bucks I’m buying the DVD.
My suggestion: Pop one bag of popcorn per person (I mean it, it’s a long movie) and go watch it NOW. What are you doing reading my stupid chapati ratings? Go watch this cinematic masterpiece.
P.S. if you don’t fall in love with Australian hunks after seeing Hugh Jackman in this movie, then no amount of prayer can fix your mental stupidity…no amount!

The Chapati Ratings System

It's been over a month since the last post on here so it's good to be back. Today I'm going to post about some of the movies I've seen on DVD the past couple of weeks/months. So in order to do that, I've created a ratings system. It's called the Chapati Ratings System.

Now to explain the Chapati Ratings System, I shall first have to tell you what a chapati is.

A chapati is like a tortilla and is one of the main kinds of breads used in South Asian homes. An average Pakistani man can eat up to 3 chapatis per meal. So my movie ratings are based on that chapati capacity.

Less than 1 chapati = movie sucked

1-2 chapatis = movie was aite or good

2-3 chapatis = movie was good or great

3 chapatis + double-roti = awesome movie go watch now

Now you may be wondering, what's double-roti? It's what we in Pakistan call a loaf of bread. And sometimes, when we're super hungry and the chapatis that were in front of us finished too quickly, we reach for double-roti to help carry us to our destination.


Hey Nepali baby, stop eating my ratings system! Put down that chapati!

Ok, let's start!