Thursday, April 2, 2009

Different Hairstyles in Miami

By Carlos

So, the other day I was hanging out with a friend of mine, looking at people’s photos online, when we came across this hideous photo of this guy who looked like he could be a female impersonator. Being that my friend is a graphic designer, we had some fun photoshopping it to make the poor guy in the photo look like a drag queen. He was adding a big up-do with curly-cue sideburns when he said “let’s add Nicaraguan hilights”. I was cracking up for a good 20 minutes.

Well, this got me to thinking about the rich ethnic variety that we have in Miami. I’m sorry, but rich ethnic variety I mean Latin American ethnic variety. I realized that a lot of people not only bring food, music, and traditions from their countries, but also fashion sense and hairstyles. It was this realization that brought me to the idea of cataloging the different hairstyles found in Miami.

So, without further ado, I present to you


Apparently, this hair issue is so prevalent that you find entire articles online about the mullet epidemic in Argentina. I was even able to find a lot of photos (as pictured above). The first one is at a River Plate soccer match, and the one on the right is probably a soccer player. I guess they copied it from Italian soccer players, who do the same stupidity. Argentines, being that they’re always right and everyone “loves Argentina”, are not keen on assimilating to life in the United States, so they still think the hairstyle looks hot….maybe if they try really hard it will be hot one day, but for the time being they should try something else

You can usually spot a Colombian guy without hearing him speak by several signs: the 90’s grunge rock get up, the 80’s era death metal tee shirt, the ridiculous amount of bracelets on both arms (I’m talking rajastani style), the coffee picker shoulder bag, and the Colombian faux-hawk. Basically, the Colombian faux-hawk is like any faux-hawk – a tamer, less ballsy version of the Mohawk. The difference is that Colombian guys usually have coarse, jet black hair that is pin-straight. In effect, the faux-hawk makes their heads a dangerous weapon that can be used to spear fish, or wild boar, or something. Additionally, a faux-hawk is something that is best achieved by professional, high-end stylists. Being that many Colombians who sport the faux-hawk are newly arrived immigrants with little money, they go to a cheap “salon de belleza” in some Latin ghetto that’s owned by their sister’s boyfriend’s cousin’s sister-in-law, who doesn’t even have an operating license. The results are sometimes frightening…..sometimes looking like a staggered roof on top of their heads.

This is, admittedly, probably one of the funniest hairstyles. Basically, the vast majority of Nicaraguans who come to Miami are of indigenous descent, which means they’re short and dark with squinty eyes. Additionally, like the Colombians mentioned above, they have very black, very coarse, very straight hair. So, to make them not look so “Indian” (which is looked down upon by many Latin Americans), many Nicaraguan women get what is known as Nicaraguan highlights. Now, naturally a person with very dark hair who is considering highlights would go for one or two shades darker. Not Nicaraguan women! They go all the way so that basically you get women with jet black hair and stripes of platinum blonde that look like someone took a Clorox bleach pen to their head. Nicaraguan highlights are also commonly used by Hondurans, Salvadorans, and some Peruvians and Mexicans. Some will go even further by dying their hair completely platinum blonde.

This, for some crazy reason, has become the preferred hair color of choice for many newly arrived Cuban women. It is only matched by bleach blonde with black roots (it’s purposefully done that way). Against pale olive skin, it makes many women who sport this color look other-worldly… an Alien or something. What has only made things worse is that celebrity hair fag specialist, Sammy, has made it his signature color. At $150 and up for hair color and cut, Cuban eggplant has now moved up the rungs of the social ladder and has become something of a status symbol. Regardless, it still looks like something out of a sci-fi horror movie.

There are many more styles, but I don’t want to write an encyclopedia. Other hair styles to look into are Venezuelan black-on-black, Haitian corn rows, Haitian Aunt Jemima, Dominican blow dry, Salvadoran bowl-cut, Hialeah slick, chonga bun, Jewish plastic wigs, and the Pan-Latin flat iron


Baji said...

who is sammy??

Carlos said...

sammy is a really gay cuban hairstylist....he's like the paul mitchell or vidal sassoon of Miami