Monday, July 27, 2009

A letter I wish I could write

Dear Downstairs Neighbors,

I hate you.


Upstairs Neighbor

Dear Downstairs Neighbors,

I feel I didn't elaborate thoroughly on my feelings for you. So, here I go: I think your lame ass attempt at being cool by placing a huge wall sized projection screen on the wall beneath my sofa is lame ass. You all, God knows how many of you are living down there, may be in your 20s but that is no excuse to forget that other people live around you (more specifically, ON TOP OF YOU .) Stop trying to act all frat-boyish by playing Rock Band all the's super lame. Stop BLASTING YOUR SURROUND SOUND AT 2AM!!!! I've complained many times, you all still don't care. I've called the main office three times, and supposedly they notified you to cut down on the freakin noise (I highly doubt they ever called you) and my Beloved's even tried to tell you in person to cut down on the noise (you listened once and once you didn't even open your door.) So my dear darling neighbors downstairs, I will take my revenge upon thee next week! Yes, I'm in the midst of finalizing a deal, and you will be the one who will suffer. You may ask, "How?" Well dearies, I will tell you now: God willing next week my 11 and 13 year old cousins will arrive. They're boys. They act 7 and 9. They hate each other. They fight all the time. They chase each other a lot in those fights. A lot of chasing. You will hate yourself. And I'll be all too honored to encourage them to run around.

With all my hate,

Your Upstairs Neighbor

::::UPDATE:::: Turns out my cousins aren't coming. (sigh) Looks like I'll have to take my revenge on my neighbors some other time.


India said...

loool! very well said!! Goody ur cousins r coming!! Let the madness begin:)

Baji said...

lol turns out they're not coming

Zarga said...

oo noo! Well I guess, just put some arabic music REALLY LOUD and bang on the walls loool