Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Musings of My Beloved 4

Some old lady in Miami keeps calling me...ALL THE TIME. She's got the wrong number. But I think the lady only speaks spanish so everytime she calls and I pick up, I say to her, "Sorry, wrong number." She says, "Ay ok, thAnk q."

Anyways, it's gotten so annoying that now I don't even pick up and I let the phong ring...HELLO LADY I'M OBVIOUSLY NOT THE PERSON YOU'RE TRYING TO REACH!

Who knows, maybe she got played by some Rico Suave she met on a cruise and he gave her my number instead. Or she's trying to reach her grandchildren who probably also gave her the wrong number cuz she so obviously can't take a hint. Augh...old spanish lady in Miami, stop calling me.

So you're probably wondering...why is this titled Musings of My Beloved, right? (Just humor me and pretend you were wondering it.)

Well poops (you all should know who this is but just in case you don't, it's Beloved's real name and from now on I'm referring to him as poops on here cuz it just makes the writing more natural) and I were driving to our city's main desi area to get some food or something (yeah right, it's always food) and I was going through my call log and told poops about the old spanish lady in Miami who keeps calling me and he gave me a mediocre idea, he said I should just record my voicemail greeting thing in spanish telling the lady that it's not cool to call me and that I'm going to report her to the police. I, of course, didn't laugh out loud at poops' idea and thought he could do better. And I also told him my spanish sucked and that I couldn't probably muster up a greeting to say all that, nor come up with what's spanish for wrong number except for "numero incorrecto." So then poops, in all his brilliance, told me what I should record on my voicemail. Beware, the following is a presentation brought to you by poops and his "all languages that aren't english and urdu sound the same to me" prejudice:

Me: (unprepared for the horror that was about to come)

Poops: Fi espanol same aurato!

Me: (horrified and peeing my pants with laughter (yes, poops, it happened...just a little bit though))

In case you don't get what was pee-worthy, poops managed to incorporate 4 different languages into a 4 word sentence. And none of it makes sense.

Fi = Arabic for in

Espanol = Spanish for Spanish

Same = English for same

Aurat = Urdu for woman and poops added an O to aurat to make it more Spanish I guess

Ah well...


.::Tuttie::. said...

Spanish Muslimah NOT amused. Funny none the less but STILL.

Hubster does it too, he just adds O at the end of everything and it is Spanish according to him. He also adds mundo at the end which I still can't figure out why.

Like correcto mundo. WTH?
Te quiero Mundo. Do you love me? or the world? or do you love me as much as the world? See? I am left baffled and in love.

Baji said...

lol i think i can explain the whole adding mundo to everything: is ur husband from the teenage mutant ninja turtle generation? cuz all the cartoons around then (circa early 90s) would "spanishize" words like that.

poops just butchers arabic mostly. it's a pakistani joke to add "tun" (like sayaratun)to arabic seeming words.

btw that lady called again today! and i accidentally picked up!

i go hello and she says "ceca?" and i'm like speechless cuz after this post i thought karma would force her not to call anymore and so i just said uh sorry wrong number and she says "ay sorry."

lol i guess i should change my miami number but i hate giving up my 305 area code!

WhiteOrchid said...

lol that was quite funny. You should really leave record somthing in spanish on your voicemail just to see how she would react

Baji said...


Omg she called again. She said sorry and hung up before I could tell her I WOULD CALL THE POLICIA THE NEXT TIME SHE CALLS. of course i wont really do that...nor would i really say that to her (i'm just a lame-o with no guts and i'm too kind)